synopsis

  • Desire Lines is a hybrid feature film that blends personal interviews, archival materials, and narrative fiction as a framework for exploring the complicated and often unwritten history of transmasculine sexuality. Testimonials from transgender men both past and present dissect how cultural expectations, political agendas, and gatekeeping practices shape the locus of desire.

    The fictional story centers on Ahmad, an Iranian expat who arrived in the US at the onset of the AIDS crisis. Now in his 60s, concealing his trans identity for decades has meant distancing himself from intimacy. Ahmad comes to the LGBTQ archives of Chicago to explore his latent homosexuality and engage in fantasy to reimagine his life as an out, gay trans man.

    He is assisted by Kieran, a twenty-something nonbinary archivist who is immersed in queer culture and trans community. An intergenerational friendship takes hold as Kieran realizes they are in the presence of a trans elder in need of guidance. Though they come from radically different cultures, Ahmad and Kieran’s bond is strengthened by a shared fascination with Lou Sullivan, a gay transgender AIDS activist. Ahmad sees himself in Lou, although his story is a sobering reminder of the cost of living as openly gay and trans.

    Ahmad’s research blends fact with fiction, often diving into fantasy sequences that re-imagine the gay bathhouses of the 70s and 80s through a transmasculine lens. As his curiosity evolves, Ahmad’s insecurities begin to fall away. He’s fascinated when Kieran shares their experiences in the modern-day bathhouses of Chicago, though he initially lacks compassion when Kieran confesses to an STD scare. As the archive closes due to the onset of the Coronavirus pandemic, Ahmad makes a final attempt at reconciliation with Kieran, ending on the promise of a blossoming friendship before transitioning into a final fantasy sequence at a traditional Persian bathhouse filled with queer and trans patrons. At last, Ahmad can finally feel desired for who he is.

    Their story is punctuated throughout by intimate interviews with trans-identified men about their varied experiences with gay male cruising culture, affirming interactions in a bathhouse, or lack of adequate healthcare for masculine-of center folks. These brutally honest exchanges bring to light the untold history of a group of people who have been doubly marginalized by straight and gay communities alike.

    The film pivots between fantasy, fiction, and fact using the letters and interviews of Lou Sullivan as the historical core. Interspersed throughout are clips of the heart-wrenching final interviews between psychiatrist Dr. Ira Pauly and Lou in his final days before succumbing to AIDS. Alongside the contemporary oral histories from a diverse group of transmen across the US, participants candidly discuss the evolution of their desires and illuminate their struggles with gender (non)conformity, fetishization, transphobia, safer sex, and sexual racism.

    Ultimately, Desire Lines is a tender love letter to the gay transmasculine community and the legacy that Lou Sullivan, and many unnamed others like him, left behind.